er the last few years, I have been friended on Facebook by people that buy my books. They comment on my posts and seem to enjoy what I write. Some of the posts are experiences that wind up in my Nurse Hal Among The Amish series like the problems with my front porch. https://www.amazon.com/Amish-Country-Arson-Nurse-Among/dp/0982459580/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1474041376&sr=1-1&keywords=Amish+Country+Arson Nothing happened when we had the old porch that was as old as the house. I liked the ornate carved porch posts and didn't mind that the porch floor sloped down slightly. Building a new floor became a necessity when the black Lab we had decided the best route to getting a rabbit he saw run under the porch was by tearing up the floor. Harold changed his mind when he realized what the noise was, but too late we had to sidestep the hole or fall through to the ground. [caption id="attachment_602" align="alignnone" width="300"] My front porch[/caption] We like the heavy board floor. I'm not so crazy about the large square posts that hold the roof up. The carved originals were much nicer. Harold must have liked them, too. He saved them in the barn loft. First winter, a flock of doves roosted on the porch. I like doves, but not so much sweeping away the droppings. Most of the time that was impossible to do in the frigid temperatures. Each morning I'd open the door and yell at the doves. That not only woke them up but startled them into flying away. Finally, the birds decided they should go back to roosting in the three Colorado Blue Spruces down by the garden. The neighbors weren't so noisy down there. After that, it was cats that wanted to hide from the rest in the barn. They were welcome. Lately, the visitor over night had been an old beat up Tom Cat that needed to get away from the younger competitive Toms. When that old white cat started using one of the porch posts to sharpen his claws, I wasn't too happy about seeing the splinters sticking out. I sandpapered the spot down and tied a plastic sack around the post. The wind blew it off or the cat took it off. I'm not sure which so I mixed up a bottle of red pepper spray and sprayed the post. The cat must have sniffed the post and got a nose full of hot peppers. He stopped scratching. Lately, I find a few of the half grown kittens have joined him on the porch. They all scattered when I go out early to greet the day except the last few days they haven't been on the porch. I noticed, but first thing I do is patrol the porch foundation to see if my barricade is in place. It has been all summer. You see the last two years skunks came and went, digging holes and tearing up my flower bed. I kept posting my problem on Facebook. In 2014, the visitors were a mother skunk and two young ones. I wouldn't have known they were around except one of us goes out at dusk to shut the chicken house door. Just my luck it was my turn. I was walking back from that task and noticed three skunks racing toward the house. I wasn't sure where they were headed. All I knew was I wanted in the back door before they beat me to it. I raced across the yard and succeeded. Curious about what happened to the stinky trio, I looked around the house. The skunks turned along the side of the house and ended up under the front porch. I realized that the next morning when I found the hole and dirt covering my flowers. Those skunks lived there all summer with only one incident. I guess one of the cats tried to join them and got turned down. Four in the morning, we woke to the most choking horrible smell. That aroma lasted for days. In 2015, I found my flower bed a mess that spring. Again dug up and a hole under the porch. Turned out the two young skunks came back again. I worked at barricading the bottom of the porch and had no hope of ever having flowers. One of the friends on Facebook said moth balls work in the south. They keep skunks from denning in the wood piles. So I got a box and threw both sacks under the porch. By the next morning, the skunks had pushed the sacks back out. My mistake. I had to make the moth balls more work for them. I opened the sacks and scattered the balls. Some of them came back out but not all. When the wind is from the south, our basement smells like moth balls. I'm pretty sure there aren't any moths down there. I even set a live trap in front of the hole. The skunks dug a new hole to by pass it. Finally, fall came and the skunks moved on. Yesterday morning, I stepped out to see what the day was like, but I didn't check the foundation. After all, nothing had happened all summer. By mid afternoon, I changed my mind. I looked out to find a ground hog grazing in the lawn. I whispered to Harold to come see. He opened the squeaky screen door. The ground hog raced for the porch and disappeared. Harold found a hole dug under the porch in my flower bed. Here we go again, and I'm think this critter is almost worse than the skunks. Now I understand why the cats haven't been sleeping on the porch. I take a careful look around before I step out on the porch now to greet the day or any other time. That ground hog looks mean. I signed up a two months writing course at Future Learn early this year. It was on how to get started writing. It was good to have a refresher lesson. I enjoyed the course and appreciated the feed back from the other students in the course. Now I've been alerted of the upcoming classes on how to read the mind of characters. I've never stopped to be analytical where characters are concerned when I'm writing a story. Nurse Hal in my Amish series and Gracie Evans in my Amazing Gracie Mystery series have time from one book to the next to evolve. From the readers feedback, I think those two ladies and the supporting cast in each series come over quite clear. If their personalities are written well in the course of the story the reader gets a feel for each character. Then again, I feel it never hurts to take time to listen to an expert's approach on the subject and perhaps learn what it might take to make my characters stand out better than they do now. The online college is in England, and these courses are free. A grade and certificate can be purchased, but I didn't do it last time. Just taking the course to see how I could do was enough satisfaction for me. This is the email reminder I received since I already signed up for this two week course. Our short course How to Read a Mind: an Introduction to Understanding Literary Characters begins in a few weeks’ time. I’m looking forward to welcoming you on Monday 3 October. As you know, the course will take place online and will run for two weeks. There are short units of explanation, consisting of text, images, and several short video sequences. Each unit ends by inviting you to share your own thinking and experience with other learners. We expect this course will take you about three hours each week. However, we have also included further reading and suggestions that you can follow if you are particularly interested in certain ideas. The level of engagement is entirely up to you. The area of study that we will be following is quite new, and many of even the key ideas are not yet fully settled. It is an exciting time to be involved, and – as you will see – the journey from new student to advanced study is really very short. Over two weeks, you will become fairly expert in cognitive poetics. You will understand in quite a profound way what it is to read and model the minds of other people, both real and fictional. You don’t need any preparation other than your curiosity and your own experience of reading literary fiction or viewing film and television drama. How to Read a Mind is proving to be very popular, and we already have many thousands of people from all over the world ready to study with us. There is still time to invite friends and colleagues to enroll on the course and take part alongside you. The course page where they can enroll can be found at https://www.futurelearn.com/courses/how-to-read-a-mind Feel free to pass this on through your own emails, tweets, Facebook pages, and so on: you can use the tag #FLread if you like. Or link to my Twitter account: @PeterJStockwell For the historical stories I write it helps me to enhance a scene if I take a peek into the past. A while back I wrote about going to two Power Shows and experiencing a look back in time as we watched the steam engines work, and when we walked through the antique tractor lines. My relatives talked about waiting with anticipation for the steam engine to show up when they were children. They could hear the beast chug and thump a mile away while smoke plumbs sailed above the trees on the country roads. With the sun bearing down on hot and humid summer days, they watched the men bale hay or combine oats and corn. What they left out were the extra details that brings the scene to life. The arid smell of black smoke surrounding the steam engine and workers, permeating the workers and spectators clothes, skin and hair. The bits of ash that floated in the air and landed anywhere the smoke did then smeared a black streak with each sweaty wipe of a chambray shirt sleeve. In the air, along with the ashes was chaff off the dry oat or corn plants that stuck on sweaty skin causing an itchy feel. The billowing dust from dry hay as it went through the baler turned workers faces grimy black as working in a coal mine would. At least that is the way one of my aunts explained my mother's father looking when he came home at night from the coal mine. Insects like deer flies buzzed around sweaty ears sending cold chills down the men's spines. Horse flies, house flies and sweat bees insisted on biting when the men were busy. Looking for details that can be written into a story is one of the reasons I like to go to museums. We went through the museum at Marengo, Iowa recently. Sightseers aren't always allowed to take pictures, but where I could I did so I could remember the details of items that interested me for my Amazing Gracie Mystery series. I set those stories in a small town in Benton County Iowa back in 1903 and have written nine books. I love reading historical books, but that was an era before I was born. If I want to write vivid details, I need to do research. [caption id="attachment_592" align="alignnone" width="200"] Book one in Amazing Gracie Mystery series titled Neighbor Watchers. Found at Amazon, B & N and Smashwords.[/caption] We got a guided tour of the buildings on the property which was great. The tour guide could give us information about each building's history. The fact that exhibits in the museum are local makes the stories and items even more interesting to me if there's a place in one of my Gracie stories I can use them. [caption id="attachment_575" align="alignnone" width="300"] This cabin was built by a bachelor that until he married had lived in a one room house that looked more like the wood shed. The cabin was just a little bigger than that.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_576" align="alignnone" width="300"] The wash tub with scrub board and the rinse tub with wringer set on the porch ready for use.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_577" align="alignnone" width="300"] In the back yard was the family cemetery.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_578" align="alignnone" width="300"] Across the street was a Phillips 66 gas station. Along side the museum was a row of horse pulled farming equipment.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_579" align="alignnone" width="300"] In side, this little gem was one of the exhibits. It's a dried lemon from the 1850's under glass and sitting on cotton. A newly wed couple was given the lemon before they left in a wagon train from Ohio to Iowa to homestead. The lemon was thought to have medical properties. The couple must have stayed well during the trip. The lemon wasn't used and the bride kept it for a keepsake. The story of the lemon was passed down through the years and the descendants of the newly weds gave the lemon to the Marengo museum.[/caption] Of all the things that hung on the walls, these ice tongs reminded me of a time in my childhood when we had an ice box. When the block of ice melted, we bought another one, and the owner of the ice house would carry it to our Model T car with ice tongs. [caption id="attachment_581" align="alignnone" width="225"] This quilt was on exhibit at the Iowa County, Iowa fair that same day. It reminded me that patterns have been passed down through the ages.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_582" align="alignnone" width="225"] A doctor's office from the past with a nurse on duty.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_583" align="alignnone" width="225"] This was a selection of night clothes. A vast wardrobe of the period hung in other areas. We were told the local theater borrows the clothes for their plays.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_584" align="alignnone" width="225"] This is a tree trunk that a family donated with the family story. The blade of a long handled scythe is sticking out of the tree and the handle is laying behind it. At the beginning of the Civil War farmers were parking their plows and leaving for duty in the Union Army. One farmer had always been taught that if he axed his scythe in the tree and it stayed there, he would come home from war all in one piece. The scythe stayed put which was a problem. The tree grew around the blade and the handle rotted off. The farmer came back safely four years later and went back to farming. He gave instructions to never cut the tree as the farm was handed down. Eventually, the tree died and the farm was to be sold in recent years so they cut the tree and gave it to the museum along with the story.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_586" align="alignnone" width="300"] This is the kitchen of a farm house a 100 years ago. After an elderly woman passed away her family donated all the furnishes to be set up in rooms just like in the house. Voice buttons with the son of this owners describes what it was like to sit in the cozy kitchen on cold winter days, warming up in between doing chores.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_587" align="alignnone" width="300"] The fainting couch in the living room with keepsakes of the family. with a book case behind the couch.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_588" align="alignnone" width="225"] This table, with a crocheted doily, reminds me of one I have. Only mine have the claw feet holding glass balls.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_589" align="alignnone" width="300"] This oddity was a small ironing press that probably was used by a woman that did laundry for others.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_590" align="alignnone" width="300"] Often called a Sad Iron, this iron was placed on the wood cookstove to heat. The handle comes off and was placed on another iron that was hot. This was one my mother used.[/caption] [caption id="attachment_591" align="alignnone" width="300"] This was like one my mother used after the wood cook stove was gone and we had a gas cook stove.[/caption] I enjoy looking through antiques and seeing items that jog my memory. Hopefully, I'm helping my writing at the same time. Until next time, Fay Risner Booksbyfay Where my husband and I were headed the evening of June 16, 2016. A signed welcomed me along with the board of directors and the librarian. A table with a yellow linen tablecloth had a line of the books the library had already bought from me and a bouquet of fresh flowers. Chairs had been placed for the audience. A table full of homemade cookies, pink lemonade and lemonade tea waited for us when I was done speaking. The librarian and the board of directors met me at the door, welcomed me in, and in a few minutes, I was ready to begin. I was aware before hand that the library’s patrons were fans of my Nurse Hal Among The Amish books and my Amazing Gracie Mystery series. After I talked about what gave me the idea to write several of my 47 published books and how I came to use the cover art I picked for each I visited with the audience while we ate cookies. One thing that was brought out and makes it clear to me why it is so important to connect with prospective book buyers in person is one woman said my books sounded so much more interesting after she listened to me talk about them. The evening was a success all the way around, and mostly that was due to how hard the library workers prepared for the event. They had every detail planned. I was very appreciative and turned down the offer to pay me for coming to speak to the patrons. The librarian picked out seven of my books to add to the collection already on the shelf and asked me to sign them. Wow! The whole evening made me feel as if all my efforts to be an author have paid off. On Back Of Book Early spring is once again turning the snow melted hills of southern Iowa into green, lush pastures filled with livestock and their capering newborns. Amish farmers are in the fields, tilling and planting corn. In the Amish community, usually it isn't mentioned outside of the family and close friends when new babies are expected. This particular spring all that changes in Nurse Hal's community. At least for the Lapp family. Hal's expecting a baby very soon and not feeling well with so much work to do for her family. That's why she's pleasantly surprised when she receives a letter from her parents. They're moving lock, stock, barrel Spring once again in southern Iowa finds green pastures filled with livestock and their capering newborns. In the Amish community no mentioned is made of expected babies outside of the family and close friends. This particular spring all that changes. Nurse Hal's expecting a baby. She's pleasantly surprised when she receives a letter from her parents, saying they're moving lock, stock, barrel and Aunt Tootie to be near Hal and her family. Emma Keim is anxiously waiting the arrival of her baby only to have Nurse Hal tell her she's having twins. The news Dr. Burns gives Adam and Emma about the babies is heartbreaking. Still there's more for Emma to endure when she realizes she's being stalked by a serial attacker, an Englisher in a red sports car. She manages to avoid the man. Adam's store clerk isn't so lucky. Priscilla Tefertiller finds she is no longer marriage material and is the Amish community's main topic with the label Second Hand Goods. What do you think of when you hear the words second hand goods. When I read those words, I thought of days gone by when clothes were hand me downs from child to child in a family. These days maybe second hand goods are the same as someone's junk is someone else's treasures like the items found at a garage sale or a yard sale. How about Thrift Shops that sell gently used clothing? All that logic seemed reasonable to me. While researching about the Amish I found the mention of second hand goods. To them it means a woman who is going to have a baby or has had one out of wedlock. That woman is not prized by Amish bachelors for a wife. Of course, there are always Amish couples that marry and in six or seven months a baby is born. The story goes around that the baby came early. No questions are asked. Amish women or men don't talk about a woman's pregnancy outside of her immediate family. When the community attends worship services or some frolic where others are present, the practice eyes of those who have been through several childbearings can see women with expanding waists and fuller skirts. Baby quilting frolics are held with no one in mind, and the quilts are laid back for the events. After the word spreads of a baby born to a family, visits are made to view the baby and give gifts like baby soap, powder, cotton diapers, new bath towels, wash cloths and flannel blankets. The month of rest and gaining strength for the new mother is probably the only time she misses two Sunday worship services which occur every two weeks. The only other excuse for missing a worship service is if she is ill. So with those facts in mind, I wrote my ninth book in the Nurse Hal Among The Amish series. By the end of April, I should have the editing done and be ready to put the book and ebook on the market. Along with the story featuring on a woman considered second hand goods, Nurse Hal and Emma are both expecting babies. To upset their lives in this book, a Englisher in a red sports car is cruising the Amish farming community, trying to pick up young girls. The sheriff of Wickenburg, Iowa has been looking for him after six attacks on women in town, but so far the man has alluded the law. I'm enjoying using Amish pictures sent to me by a friend for covers. This book's cover is three pictures blended together to make Adam Keim's Furniture Shop. In the background, behind the trees you can see Adam and Emma's house and Adam's mother's home, Lovina Keim. Since this is the last year that Emma Lapp Keim will teach school I added, in the text, a picture of her Amish school. A real phenomenon of nature to me is a picture of a huge boulder that was spit down the middle by a tree that sprouted and grew through the rock. That rock and tree play a big part in the story for Priscilla Tefertiller, clerk in Adam Keim's Furniture Shop. If you aren't family with my Nurse Hal Among The Amish series, the stories are about an English Home Health Nurse, Hallie Lindstrom. She was sent to dress a foot wound for John Lapp, a widower with three children. They fall in love and Hallie Lindstrom struggles with the strict rules in the Amish Ordnung. Join my look at life in an Amish community from the view of an English woman. Here's your chance to try books one to eight before I've published Book nine Second Hand Goods. Enjoy reading, Fay Risner Five New Reviews from Future Learn online writing Course for my Short Story This was my last week of the writing course I was taking online at Future Learn. I enjoyed the eight week free course, submitting assignments and getting other writers thoughts about what I had written. I didn't struggle to hand in a freshly written paragraph and short story. I used from what I already had so it was easier to get the assignments done. Now on to finishing my next Amish book about Nurse Hal. My last post was about the character paragraph I handed in and the critiques I received. That paragraph was part of my first Amazing Gracie Mystery series book titled Neighbor Watchers. So the next assignment was to write a thousand word short story using the character. I took an excerpt out of another Amazing Gracie Mystery book titled The Chance of A Sparrow. The excerpt is from the first chapter, but I tweaked what I submitted to Future Learn by omitting some of the passages and changing the very end to make the complete short story. So here is the short story. Melinda Applegate’s soft voice held concern. "Gracie Evans, what"s wrong with you? Stop rubbing that rocker arm. You’ll wear a groove in the wood." That beautiful, spring morning everything came alive in 1904. On the breeze, Gracie’s nose picked up fresh cut grass and purple hyacinths. She was too melancholy to express her feelings. Instead, she groused, "I’m listening to them unhappy robins." Melinda responded, "That’s the way robins always chirp. Loud like some folks I know." Gracie frowned. "Best I remember, country birds didn"t sound that sharp." Melinda smiled at Gracie tentatively, not sure how to answer without upsetting her. Rocking back and forth for momentum, Gracie propelled herself to her feet. "I"m fixin" to take a walk." Worried about her friend, Melinda asked, "Want me to go with you?" Gracie grumped, "I’m not fit company for myself let alone anyone else." With her hands clasped behind her back, Gracie shuffled beside the Locked Rock, Iowa Victorian mansion and through the backyard. She stopped by the angel statue near the gazebo. The pan in the angel’s hands did double duty. Full of water in warm weather, and in the winter, the pan held corn. She read the sign dangling over the angel’s arms, Bird Bath -- 10 cheeps -- No Refunds. Gracie didn’t like the changes in herself. Living in town after she"d spent her whole life on the farm wasn"t like she thought it would be. Restlessness, loneliness and uselessness welled up in her. Her wish was strong to have the days back when she was fiercely independent. Rubbing an itchy, gnat bite on the back of her hand, she stared at the red bump nestled between the brown spots and blue veins. It reminded her of the worse change of all. She"d grown old and past child bearing age. Now that she lived in the retirement home, she"d convinced herself her future was bleak. She hated feeling this miserable and didn’t have a clue how to make her life better. Sparrows flitted in front of Gracie. Busily moving forward with business, they dipped down, filled their beaks with grass clippings and flew back to build nests. She wondered why it had to be that birds had new families every year to keep the parents company when humans only had one family in a lifetime if they were lucky. Even then when children grew up, they left the nest. People aged alone. It didn’t seem quite fair to folks that nasty sparrows had it better. Sparrows didn"t have to be alone as long as they could build a nest and lay eggs that hatched. By grab, Gracie couldn’t do much about the set up of nature, but she felt like complaining to someone. Across the street was the church. Touched by the morning sun, the bronze bell in the belfry glinted like a beacon beckoning her. As Gracie crossed the street, she patted the gray braids wound around her head and smoothed the wrinkles out of her calico dress. Tightening her grip on the railing, she climbed the church steps. In the reverent stillness, she grimanced when her high topped shoes caused loud, hollow taps. She opened one of the double doors. The hinges groaned. The sound echoing through the building reinforced her despair. She was drowning in a bottomless pit of depression and so helpless she couldn’t stop sinking to the bottom. Easy as she could, Gracie shut the door. Normally, she stayed toward the back during Sunday service, but today, she had the church to herself. Best time to come when she didn’t have to worry about the hand shakers getting in her way. Gracie marched down the aisle and plopped into the front pew. She intended to have a serious talk with God now that she"d made up her mind to complain. Since he hadn’t been paying attention to her concerns lately, she worried that it might be because he"d become hard of hearing. She could sympathized with him. If she felt old, think how old God must feel. Gracie faced the cross behind the pulpit. She clasped her hands together, licked her lips and spoke loudly to make sure God heard her. "God, this is Gracie Evans. I’ve had plenty of time to ponder how things work in life. Don’t mean to complain, mind you.” She hesitated. It occurred to her she should be truthful. After all, this was God she was talking to, and she figured He pretty much knew what she had on her mind before she did. "That’s not exactly right. I do have a bone to pick with you so now that I have my pump primed I"m giving you an ear full. You did a right fine job creating the world and all the creatures, but seems to me, you had too many irons in the fire when you made everything in seven days. Maybe you should have taken more time to think about some way to improve on humans before you quit. Take sparrows. Did you ever stop to think sparrows get a chance to have two families a year? That’s ever year, mind you, but humans only get one chance in their lifetime. Now take me. All my family’s gone, and I"m alone. That’s not your fault. I made the choice to say no when Millard ask me years ago, but now I’m in a retirement home with no family, wasting away the last of my days. I"m smart enough to figure there’s not much you can do about it after you have everything created, but I just wish you’d have thought to give us lonesome human beings the chance of the sparrows. I had to get that off my chest. Much obliged for listening God. Amen." Gracie stood up, her heart lighter and her back straighter than it had been in weeks. She"d made God aware of His mistake. It was His problem to fix if there was a way. Submitted by reviewer number one What were the strengths and weaknesses of the character portrayals? This is a lovely story with a strong main character. I do find the writing a little difficult to follow as it seems to me some it meanders on, although that could be your way of showing how the old lady talks. I'd love to see it laid out properly, but it's possible to see through that to a charming old lady who has a chat with God and actually sorts her own problems out. Hallelujah! Were there any very clear, or any confusing, elements of the story which related to approaches taught on Start Writing Fiction? I'm not sure what else to say about this because although the story is brilliant I still feel there is room to make it even better. The idea of sparrows having two families a year and us being so restricted is great ... although I think coping with my one family was quite enough. Did the story have a plot, causality and conflict? How did it engage you? The story has loads of promise and is gently gripping. I could engage with it and although I'm on a different continent understand how she feels. I don't know why Gracie's alone or where her family has gone so there's room for more of course, but perhaps this is part of a greater whole where that is revealed. Submitted by reviewer number two What were the strengths and weaknesses of the character portrayals? This portrayal of an aging woman reluctantly living in a retirement home with all her family flown the nest was very well drawn. Her move from town to country was well expressed as was her mild depression. Were there any very clear, or any confusing, elements of the story which related to approaches taught on Start Writing Fiction? The setting was good, as were the characterizations. Did the story have a plot, causality and conflict? How did it engage you? The plot was unclear, focusing on Gracie's depression, and the causality could perhaps have been clearer. The only conflict seemed to be that of age resenting the loss of youth, but these were minor details as the story was engaging and thoughtful. Submitted by reviewer number three What were the strengths and weaknesses of the character portrayals? Good start Fay. On the porch with the rocking chair and grumbling sets the scene nicely and great dialogue between Melinda and Gracie. One doesn't need much description for the reader to get a visual image of Gracie. Actually, having read the whole story, there was a bit more description of the Sparrows than of Gracie, but the story didn't need a description. Gracie's words and actions gave a good account of what she was like. Were there any very clear, or any confusing, elements of the story which related to approaches taught on Start Writing Fiction? It was a nice story, and a bit sad, but meant to be so. Did the story have a plot, causality and conflict? How did it engage you? The story was a lifetime of regrets I think. Regretting that she didn't have a family, regretting her loneliness and old age, and frustrated that God hadn't fixed things so that life had been better for her. An interesting story with a touch of humour at the end when Gracie talks to God. I think that Fay should be happy with this piece - well done. Submitted by reviewer number four What were the strengths and weaknesses of the character portrayals? Lovely old lady. Feeling her completely. Nicely portrayed through her inner thoughts and some well placed physical descriptions and mannerisms. Were there any very clear, or any confusing, elements of the story which related to approaches taught on Start Writing Fiction? The story is clear, and well told. Did the story have a plot, causality and conflict? How did it engage you? Gracie's is feeling the unfairness of getting old and being alone at an old-peoples' home. I am following the story, and it is well told. Not quite sure if Gracie's inner ramblings are engaging enough. Her talk with God is strong, but could it be more profound? I don't know. I feel you have a good and powerful story here, but I would love more depth and dimension. Good luck! Submitted by reviewer number five What were the strengths and weaknesses of the character portrayals? The character of Gracie was well developed and her voice was very rich, distinctive and clear. I felt the character was a little bit stereotypical and I felt a lack of empathy with Gracie despite the fact her complaint should have aroused sympathy. I wonder if she came across as a little too self-pitying. Were there any very clear, or any confusing, elements of the story which related to approaches taught on Start Writing Fiction? I wasn't too sure about the Millard reference, perhaps that side story could have been expanded and I was a bit confused by the sentence 'By grab, Gracie couldn’t do much about the set up of nature, but she felt like complaining to someone. ' There were a lot of short sentences and the reference to the bird table sign should possibly have been in quotation marks to make it clear it was a sign, although that may have been misreading it. Did the story have a plot, causality and conflict? How did it engage you? The story certainly had a plot, albeit a gentle one and there was a conflict in that the elderly Gracie being unsettled and unhappy about her lack of family and lonely life. It very much felt like a life not lived which is always very sad. The story did engage me although I found the comparison to the birds' lives a little laboured. Actually what the other writers didn't know when they thought there should be more to the story was that this story came from a book with a more involved story line. Simply put, Gracie has spring fever. She is depressed because she is missing her farm and the only home she's known. She wishes she could spend some time at her farm if only for a little while. Her wish comes true when the renter asks Gracie to farm sit for a month while he takes his wife and daughter to visit her ailing mother. Gracie is happy to accept his invatation, but that is when her problems begin. She finds a naked Indian swimming in her farm pond, finds out a neighbor man is missing when she reports the Indian and men's clothing are scattered on the pond dam like a farmer would wear. The sheriff comes to investigate. Gracie is shot at, and her nearest neighbor just happens to be Millard Sokal. Years ago he proposed to Gracie. She turned him down and he married another woman. His wife recently died and he is seeking another wife, perferably Gracie. She can't seem to get rid of the man and his eagerness to court her once he finds she is living at the farm. Now if this sounds like a story you would be interested in paperbacks are on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and Smashwords.com. Ebooks can be found on the same sites plus reviews about my Amazing Gracie Mystery series. Hope you take a look at my books and enjoy reading them, Fay Time has a way of passing faster than I would like when I have other things besides writing on my mind. It's been a month since I wrote a post. The reason why is on Jan. 30th I tried to cross the living room with one foot very much asleep and found out the hard way my foot wasn't going to hold me up. As I fell I heard a snap and realized I had broken a bone. My husband took me to ER for x-rays. A ligament tore loose from a bone and took a piece of the bone with it. The other ligaments in that area were badly stretched like an old rubber band that can no longer spring back. So now until the first of April and maybe longer I am going to be wearing a boot on my left foot to stabilize it until the ligaments and bone heals. So most of the day I sit with my feet up, using an ice pack four times a day to numb the pain in my foot. That is except for the time on Mondays I spend on the computer doing my Future Learn University writing course that I'm enjoying. Working on an assignment takes more time than I am willing to sit at the computer with my foot down. I must admit I feel like I'm cheating when I submit material that I have already published, but then again when I get reviews on what I submit like the two below I feel more confident about the material I write. The homework I turned in this week was the opening of my first book in my Amazing Gracie Mystery series titled Neighbor Watchers. Since I wrote that first book I have written eight more. Others in the class were invited to critique my work, and I did the same for other writers. As if from a long ways off, Gracie Evans heard the hushed squeaks made by her rocker being answered by the rocker beside her. The hollow sound she made when she tapped her high top, black shoes against the porch floor, Melinda Applegate’s shoes echoed. In spite of herself, the rocking motion lulled Gracie. Her eyelids grew heavy. Her head jerked, nodded and jerked again. She relaxed back against the rocker, and closed her eyes. Gracie stirred when sweat tickled her scalp beneath the two dark gray braids crowning her head. Feeling droplets seep from her hairline and trickle down her cheeks, she roused. She slipped her hand into her skirt pocket and pulled out a large, red man's handkerchief to swipe her face. Squaring her hunched shoulders, she straightened in her rocker and gave a slight shake of her head to clear it. The layers of calico and cotton petticoat she wore acted as a funnel to trap the uncomfortable heat radiating up from the floor. At that moment, she imagined she felt like the glass shade on a kerosene lamp that had just been lit, warming up and in a very short time too hot to touch. Gracie grabbed a handful of her brown skirt. She discreetly raised it just enough that her shoes showed and vigorously shook the material several times to let hot air escape. The only other relief came when she stirred the breeze in front of her face by waving a paper, feed store fan in short, fast strokes. Silently, Gracie chided herself for dozing off, then excused her napping with the fact things were bound to be this way. Boredom is what she'd gotten in return for retiring from her farm. She straightened up and tried to read the print on the large sign posted near the picket fence gate. She couldn’t make it out. Leaning forward, she squinted and failed again. At first, Gracie feared her eyesight had gone bad. With a measure of relief in her faded brown eyes, she realized heat waves shimmering over the shaggy, dried grass blurred the words. She mumbled to herself, “No need to read the sign. I know it says Molly Moser’s Retirement Home For Women. I ain’t too senile yet to remember where I live or that this town is Locked Rock, Iowa.” She sighed and relaxed. Every day, she tried to resign herself to the fact that Moser mansion would be where she’d live for the rest of her life. However, she saw no harm in wishing for some excitement to spice up the long days except she hadn't expected her wish to come true. Last night someone murdered the neighbor lady across the street. At last, she had a mystery to solve. Reviews Vidhima’s review Submitted by Vidhima Shetty Which method of character creation was being used? I personally think it might be more of the mixed method because you bring out humanly emotions that everyone feels at some point, longing and boredom, and you also build a character, I think, either by personal experience or by watching someone who has lived in a senior home. Were you able to see the character clearly? Did you want to know more about the character? Yes I was able to perceive Gracie Evans quite clearly. I especially like how you described her clothing! Yes, I certainly did want to know more about Gracie, especially in the beginning where she is bored and inquisitive. What approaches to portrayal, such as depicting appearance, occupation, voice, and so forth, did the writer successfully use? I liked your usage of metaphors. Also, you did a really good job with physical detail of Gracie. Overall, good job! Angela’s review Submitted by Angela Jones Which method of character creation was being used? The description seems to be autobiographical or biographical, perhaps either from the writer's own experience with older family members, or from observation of people around her or characters she's read about. Were you able to see the character clearly? Did you want to know more about the character? The character of Gracie is vividly built up from the first sentence, when we suspect, from the two rocking chairs, that she is an old lady who doesn't live alone. The details which follow then allow us to imagine her as she dozes and drifts between the present and the past, between reality and her memories. I wanted to know what her story was - what her life was like before she went to live in the retirement home, and of course the tantalizing final sentence holds lots of possibilities! What approaches to portrayal, such as depicting appearance, occupation, voice, and so forth, did the writer successfully use? Gracie's character is developed through small details which give a lot of information. I loved the way the narrative of the rocking, the heat and Gracie's thoughts lull the reader into a similar state, even though she tries to wake herself out of her stupor. The end is particularly effective at creating that contradiction which adds an unexpected dimension to the character and to the rest of the story. I was surprised and please that both ladies assumed that I had taken care of or observed family members or older people. They are very right. I was a CNA for many years in a nursing home, taking care of residents and took care of my parents in their home until they died. In fact the characters in the Amazing Gracie Mystery series were real people in the nursing home that I enjoyed being with. I used their characteristics to embellish my Gracie Evans, Melinda Applegate, Libby Hook and even the neighbors across the street, the Bullocks. They were patterned after my parents. The comments from the other students were meant as a critique of my work, but I was very pleased. Thought occurred to me that I don’t get many reviews. I should take what I can get and share them in this post. You can find more reviews from readers on Amazon. This has been a series that I really enjoyed writing. The idea came to me after reading an Agatha Christie book. The residents at the nursing home fit right in to the historical mysteries I wanted to write. So if this story line is interesting to you about a small Iowa town in early 1900 with humorous, elderly characters the story is in paperback and ebook at Amazon, Kindle, B&N, Nook and on Smashword.com. |
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